Yes, I am THAT mom with THAT baby

I never thought I would write these words – I am THAT mom with THAT baby.

You know the type. The mom running through the supermarket while her baby cries the entire trip. The mom that hasn’t heard an entire church service since her baby was born because she’s constantly running out of the service to avoid disturbing others from her baby’s tears. The mom that can’t take her baby to a restaurant without disrupting every else’s meal for an hour.

I have THAT baby that cries. All. The. Time.

The pediatrician first said he had reflux. We tried one medicine, but it only got worse. We took him back to the pediatrician who then told us our son had Colic. Then, we tried another medicine and it seemed to continue to get worse. Our pediatrician told us to wait it out and he’d grow out of it in a couple of months.

I’ve never considered myself a patient person, but “a couple of months” felt like forever.

I love my son. I love spending time with him and playing with him. I love his smiles and cute faces. He is the greatest blessing that I could have ever asked for. But…

There’s a but.

He’s THAT baby. At home, my husband and I do the best we can to relax him and make him happy. But in public, I’m confident we are seen as those “bad” parents with the screaming baby that never stops.

I’ve always been an introvert. I’m the type of person that hates the attention on me. I’ve now become the person with the baby that grabs all of the attention. I now get social anxiety when I even think about going out in public because I know I’m going to be THAT person with THAT baby. Hours before we leave the house, I worry about where or when he might have another meltdown and who may be present to judge me.

That thinking is destructive and has to stop. But it’s really, really hard to not think that way. Babies cry and oftentimes, they cry in the most inconvenient places. Even still, it’s embarrassing when you are the loudest one in a public place. At least it is for me.

It’s definitely not that we have stopped trying to make our son feel better. I find myself reading article after articles of what doctors suggest to ease my son’s pain. I am constantly sifting through different mom groups on Facebook to see what they have done with their reflux/colic babies. We try to get as much support as we can from our friends who suggest “try this” or “try that” ideas that worked for them. Some things will work some of the time.

Through this very short time, I’ve gained more respect for moms than I ever had before. I’ve learned we are all just trying our best to raise our kids in a nurturing environment in hopes they will grow up to become honest, hardworking adults. And it’s hard. In fact, raising my son has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

I don’t think I’m alone in this. Raising kids is very difficult. If you are like me, you constantly battle with doubt that you are doing what is best for your kids. Should he eat this or should he take that medicine? Should we try a different routine before bed? What is the best brand of “fill-in-the-blank” product? The list of questions is endless.

I often find myself in prayer to help me get through the times of doubt. The verse that I’ve relied heavily on is Philippians 4:13:

“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”

There are days when I have repeated this verse over and over again while I fought back the feelings of inadequacy. I often struggle with feeling “not good enough” to raise a child, especially my son who poses his own set of challenges. This verse has provided me peace in times I felt like there was nothing else I could do.

I hope others have the assurance that they can turn to God during tough parenting times as well. I honestly couldn’t have made it through some of my toughest days with His love and support.

So even though I have THAT baby that cries all of the time, I’m hopeful others out there are as forgiving to me as I have become. I hope they understand that I am just trying my best to take care of my child, just like many of them are as well.

Next time I’m in the supermarket, church, or the movies, and I see THAT mom with THAT baby, I’ll say an encouraging prayer for her. I challenge you to do the same.

Kaila is a working mom, blogger, and self-help enthusiast. In her free time, you will find her crafting or playing board games with friends. She loves spending time with her hubby, Matt, and baby boy, Cooper.
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